I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
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she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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