This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
