Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
