got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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