I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
last night I used snow as a chaser
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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