ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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