We're facebook friends in real life
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
