I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
