My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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