There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
