what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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