i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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