Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize