I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
