i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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