drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
