You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
