Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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