D3 body, D1 cock
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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