So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
