would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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