she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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