i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
