So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
