I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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