Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
