Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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