umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
God, I missed his penis.
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