Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
