Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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