so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
