Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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