why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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