I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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