You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
