Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
