Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
