Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
