You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
