Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
