I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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