I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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