I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
