you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize