i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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