she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
