We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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