does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
