did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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