Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
