I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize