I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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