so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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