we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
