but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
