so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
